One step at a time

I've been trying to eat a good breakfast each day. And so far it's working but I'm so so scared I'm putting on weight. I know it's stupid, I'm still eating the amount of calories of someone on a diet, but I'm just so scared. :/ The other day I felt like I'd lost weight but I can't check because I have no scales. Recently, I've actually been having the occasional 'I don't want to lose more weight' thought which must be progress because losing weight is the one thing I want. That's scary and they don't last long but I really want to get to the stage where I don't want to lose weight at all.

I haven't heard from the dietician and I haven't recieved a copy of a letter to my doctor. I feel like they've forgotten about me again. I thought they were finally taking me seriously, and I've been trying so hard this last week to get into the right mindset to recover and to eat a bit more and face my fears, I've been trying so hard but they've forgotten. He said the dietician would call this week and it's already Friday.

My friend's mum found a number for me to call, Newcastle Talking Therapies, who can do an assessment and refferals without a doctor (I don't think they can diagnose) and I was gonna wait until after my appointment with my CAMHS counselor but I don't know if I should just ring them and change to a different counselor and a different place and start all over again.

On a brighter note, I ate three meals yesterday and no laxatives or excessive exercise. And I've eaten breakfast this morning.

I always find that if I eat a good breakfast, I eat well for the rest of the day. When I'm not fasting, I always eat breakfast and never purge it. It puts you in a better frame of mind for the rest of the day and helps you stay focussed.

Unfortunately the waiting process can sometimes be very long. I think there's no harm in ringing the number and explaining to them that you're already seeing someone, but have had a few difficulties and would like to know what your options are. When do you next see Mr Happy from CAMHS?

im glad you're trying <3 You really are makin progress, its a scary and hard thing to do, and im proud of you