An update I guess

I went to see the ED service today - had an appointment with their nurse. We had a good long chat about things and agreed that I'd keep seeing her on a regular basis until my therapy comes up. She reckons 3-4 months I should wait. I'm restricting at the moment, but think maybe I'll go back to b/p at the weekend. I'm not sure. I don't mind the purging, just don't want to overbinge. so maybe binge/starve. I don't know. I'm thinking on one hand make the most of it while you still can then on the other hand I'm thinking starve, starve, starve. See how skinny you can get in 3 months. I was going to buy some binge food but in the end I didn't. Anyway that's where I'm at. I'm still not sure how I feel about treatment and that's the honest answer. I suppose this is what I know and what I'm comfortable with, but it can't be this way forever. The time has come to change

This is exactly how I felt a year ago, I had second thoughts about treatment, cancelled the child care I had in place or tried but my family got angry and said I should go. I went and yes there have been times when I just want to throw my hands up and quit but there is something inside, I don't know what that, just keeps me on track. I waited for 3-4 months for treatment too.

I can honestly say hand on heart this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but I am so glad that I went to that first appointment and kept going even when I didn't want to be there. My life is so much better now then It was a year ago, I still have a fair way to go yet.

You know where I am if you want to chat or ask questions and I wish you the best, proud of you xxxxxxxxxx