Just a little update.

well recovery is going OK, but can feel myself slipping and cutting back again and being really restrictive on the types of foods that I am willing to eat.

My body also won't accept gluten & wheat at the moment, it is making me really ill, so been put on a Gluten & wheat free diet, was suppose to go and see the dietician, but didn't make it, ended up freaking out and cancelling, told her my son was ill, not good, she rang the next day and we done the appointment over the phone. It would appear that I am really sensitive to gluten & wheat, had a few mishaps this week, so the plan is to slowly reintroduce gluten & wheat and see if it will resolve it self, if not then I have been told I will need a biopsy done of my stomach.

I am back to see my psychologist on Wednesday, not sure whether to come clean about my freaking out, as the dietician and ED Team just think my son was ill. I will see how I feel Wednesday I think.

You're only lying to yourself. For your recovery to work, you need to be 100% upfront. You've done so well until now and it will get harder, but you've come too far to go back now.

I hope the gluten thing works out. A biopsy doesn't sound like fun

I'm so proud of you and everything you've achieved with your recovery. You're an inspiration xxx

Definitely an inspiration. Recovery doesnt come in a day, you have to work into it.

I will tell my psychologist about my freaking pout over the dieticians appointment, she will know something is up or isn't right, so I will just be honest and try to work why I freaked out.

Just feeling sooo blah at the moment, struggling with my body changing shape and the little weight gain that I have put on but hour by hour, meal by meal, day by day,

Thank you for all your words of support xxxx

It's a massive change for you. For so long your weight has been your identity and now that's changing, it must feel that you are changing too. In many ways you are, but you're growing into a stronger person. You've lost none of your qualities that you've always had.