My boyfriend's mom died :(

I need to tell this to someone - because it is plain and simple terrible...

N's sister took their mom in early winter 2011, so he could get some works (painting walls, changing floors, etc) done at his place. Mom was disabled - she had poor vision and could walk only with frame. However, sister refused to allow their mom to return home after works were done. Daughter dearest couldn't be bothered to refurbish her place to fit her mom's needs, so she placed the women that brought her to this world in small room, put diapers on her and let her dwell there... BITCH!

She also wouldn't let N see their mom or even give her the items needed for care. We went to social services a year ago - without results. They brushed it off thinking that daughter would take better care of female parent than son...

Few months ago, sister calls and asks for 5000 euro (demands, more likely). You can recalculate that to your currency, but let me tell you that the average salary in Serbia is some 400 euro. So we scrambled and got that cash, which means that my car is not registered now (I cannot afford insurance) and it's sitting at the parking lot, while I walk or take public transportation. Option 1 is good for me obviously, but public transportation here is a disaster - third world, you know.

Meanwhile, his mom developed gangrene on her foot. Note that she wasn't diabetic and she never smoked. She did have blood circulation issues, but it could have been prevented with proper care. And her own daughter kept her worse than I keep my damn rabbit!

Finally, on Sunday (Feb 10th), sister allowed N to see their mom. He was devastated after that. A formerly vibrant and witty lady had became a plant! She just laid on the bed (not even the proper bed, more of a couch), almost unconscious, in severe pain. He insisted to get proper care (i.e. hospitalization) for her - and sister denied, although she was clearly unable to care for her own mother.

So, I delegated most of my work and went rushing to social services and police with him. And living in this crappy country, it turns out that all those institutions were too slow to do anything in time. She died last night, after she was rushed to hospital for urgent amputation. Daughter called ambulance to give her (yet another) heavy painkiller (I don't know how it's called in English, but it is morphine-based, given for the heaviest pains and highly addictive; she got several shots previously and it is mostly given to terminal patients), and they (i.e. doctor in the emergency team) decided that she needs urgent medical care.

The bitch practically killed her own mother! And she claims she did her best to provide good care! When the old lady was living with N, she was walking around their place, and he even took her out for short walks and to sit in the park.

N is devastated. Unfortunately, I never met the old lady, but I'm also upset - both with sister's actions (or lack thereof) and the fact that my man is suffering. Plus, I was practically brought up by my grandma, which ended up in me taking care of her. She suffered from asthma and related hearth condition. When she felt it was time, she asked me to place her at the retirement facility (kind of a living facility for elderly with constant healthcare available). When she died, a doctor I was talking with said that I had probably extended her life for good 3 or 4 years by sending her there. My grandma died few months short of turning 80. N's mom died days after turning 80.

I am helping him with everything now. He wants to see his sister brought to justice for what she did (or, to be precise, what she didn't do). I mean, gangrene takes quite a while (and significant lack of care) to develop to the stage of killing someone. We managed to get a sneak-peek at hospital report (which is to be officially released on Mon), noting that the patient was brought in in poor general state and with neglected hygiene.

And N is in terrible state... He doesn't cry, although it seems he'll start any moment... He blames his sister (rightfully, from what I know), but he blames himself even more for not being more persistent in pushing his sister to give proper care to their mother. He went for a 2 hour run tonight... Running is his "drug of choice", but it didn't help tonight. I know how hard it is to lose mother, but he is beyond that. I don't know how to help him. Sure, I can (and will) help him to bring the bitch to justice, but he is so shaken now! I don't know what to do!

I know the "just be there for him" thing. And I'm "there" for him whenever he needs... And he is a good soul, so there are many other people willing to help - driving, or whatever. I just want a magic wand to get him to release all of his grief and sorrow... It is so hard for me to look at this vibrant, strong and totally alpha male, trying to keep that and yet hitting the bottom inside. I want to help him on that bottom... I want to drag him up to the surface... I've been there more than once, but I had to swim my way up... And I never helped anyone up - not that I know of, at least...

When I told a friend today, she nearly cried. She knows everything and she was sad both for his mom and N. She said "But he's such a darling-sweaty, he doesn't deserve something like that! Is his sister adopted?" I want to keep N safe and sane... I want to help him... I know I'm doing as much as I can in technical sense - he is kinda old-school, and public administration had changed since and I'm helping him with that, but... I want to help him release his pain!

Any suggestions are welcome - how do I help my man cope?