I've been binging

I've been eating a lot and not purging. Sometimes it is a binge, other days it's just a lot of food in a day.
I keep telling myself I'm just eating and "At least I'm not restricting or purging."

Truth is I want to restrict so bad.
Truth is I hate myself for the amount of food I am eating.
i hate the way I feel.
I hate that I have no freaking scale anymore to weigh myself on.

I need a stable diet and a good diet plan. I need to either get better or just let myself fall back into the ED weight loss. I can't keep trying to be in the middle. I can't keep being fat.

You need to keep eating. Maybe try to eat lots of little things throughout the day so you don't feel too full xx