Privacy

Last week when we were coming home from Belgium my husband kept asking if he could 'play games' on my phone. But he didn't play any games he just scrolled through the menu and didn't do anything. So after the 3rd time I said go on, I'm going to rest my eyes for a bit. I sneak a peek and sure enough, he's reading my text messages. I fell out with a friend big time a few months ago, but never mentioned it to my husband as he told never liked him anyway. So he's seen a text to this guy and I've had to explain about our falling out and he was fuming at the way he treated me. That was last week.
Yesterday, I was at work and I get a text from my husband asking if I can call him. He'd gone on Twitter on my laptop 'to check for wrestling news'. He is aware that I have a second Twitter for ED type posts and that's the one he was on. He read back through all of my Tweets and then started questioning me about them and saying that I must be unhappy and that I won't talk to him. I explained that just because I have a feeling for a few minutes, doesn't mean I feel that way all the time. And pointed out that he ignored the tweets saying how happy I am. I think he understands that, but he doesn't get that he's invaded my privacy. He doesn't seem to distinguish between secrecy and privacy.
I don't mind too much that he's read them, but I do mind that he did it behind my back and without my permission. He already made a Tumblr and started following me on there, so now I don't feel comfortable posting anything too personal on there. Now I feel like I can't go on Twitter either. What will be next? Will he start coming on here? Also because of Twitter he knows that I have been writing letters to someone (not to send, just to get stuff off my chest). Will he search through my documents to see what I've been saying to her? Just because I don't tell him every single thought I am having, doesn't mean I don't love him. I will always go to him if I need to, but right now I'm happy and stable enough that I don't need to.
I don't know if I'm overreacting, but it really pissed me off to be honest and he doesn't seem to understand what he's done wrong

This is a blatant invasion of privacy. I feel it's wrong, and shows a lack of respect. This is also the problem with all of this electronic crap we now have...everything is out there in the open for everyone to see!!

I would be pissed off too . . . although clearly, he cares. It could be that he's super worried and doesn't know what else to do. He should ask though. I'm sorry he did this, Lorna. (((hugs)))

Oh, I'm so sorry... I understand how you feel. However, I think his intentions are good - just that his "performance" is rather improper.

You should talk to him and explain what you wrote here - that fine line between privacy and secrecy...

My boyfriend is the same. He found a msg from someone off the ED boards on my facebook, he went nuts and thought that it gave him the right to read all my msgs on facebook, hotmail and phone. Now, i tell him were not reading each others msgs, we are going to trust each other, and then i went to brush my teeth, came back in my bedroom and he was on my phone, grr. No sense of privacy.

I think that your husband is doing it because he cares about you. If he was reading them just for the sake at looking at your msgs from other lads, then i dont agree with that. But, he knows about your ED right? Hes probably scared and wants to check how you are. Even though its an invasion of privacy.

I think he gets it now. Well, he doesn't, but he gets that it matters to me and he's trying to respect that. He was on my laptop last night and someone messaged me on Facebook. He said 'Your chat box has popped up' I asked who it was and he said that he didn't know because he hadn't opened it. So he's learnt his lesson I think. We had a good chat and I explained that just because I might be sad in a moment, doesn't mean I'm sad overall. I explained that I can't help wanting to purge or starve, but I'm coping with it as best as I can. He saw a photo and questioned me because I showed him it on my phone saying I was tired, but on Twitter I wrote that I was trying not to cry. I explained that yes, I wanted to cry, because I was TIRED! I'd just done 7 night shifts on the trot and was late going home. I also pointed out all the things I'd written about being happy and told him just to trust my behaviour.
Thanks for letting me vent girls, you're so right. He's just worried. I think now that I've made such an improvement with my health, he is feeling a bit surplus to requirements. Like his chick is leaving the nest for the first time.

I'm glad you have talked to him Hun xxx