Need an advice / What would you do

Background
I've been seeing my current boyfriend for 4 months now. He knows about my ED and practically everything else in my life. He's nothing but supportive, gentle and kind. Although it's almost summer, he insists on driving me to/from work "because I get to tired working and it's not good for me to drive that tired". God knows I did drive "that tired" and beyond...

My history
Before, I've been living with male gold digger. He ended up on psych ward, and when he was discharged, he had no intention of following doc's orders. His mom insisted he didn't need meds, he just needed some rest. He was the one telling me that I am too fat to be presentable... We ended it autumn 2011.

So, my ex is contacting me now - in a very threatening manner. Police is informed, and so is my bf. So, my bf has an apartment he rents and he wants me to move there without a rent - bills only...
1) I wouldn't accept living there without paying - at least what he charged the guys that lived there before.
2) I would be living some 5 minutes walking or 2 minutes driving (parking ritual included) from his place.
3) Location, apartment and everything else are much better than this one.
4) I fear loosing my independence, freedom, etc.

For the record, I think I'm really in love with him. Tonight he was showing me that apartment and we fell asleep in living room watching TV. He was hugging me and we just dozed off... I can see myself dozing off with him on that couch every night and crawling to bedroom afterwards...

However, I'm one of those valuing my independence and self-sustainability to the fault. Would I be loosing those if I accepted to live there? There's no way in hell I'd accept living there for free... However...

Any thought would be appreciated <3

P.S. I do LOVE the place...

Dont let your past stop you from moving forward with your life. If you want to move into the other house, do it. It sounds like you would be much more better off by doing it. You wont be losing your independence, he already drives you to work, so its not as if your giving anything up is it? A relationship isnt about being isolated and fully independant, god knows i rely on my boyfriend for a lot of things ha! But being independant in the things you value, such as telling him your going to pay your own way for the house.

I think you should do it, but follow your heart.

You would not be losing your independence at all. It will still be your own home and your own space. Even once you are living together, you will still be independent. Accepting help or love from someone is not a sign of weakness. You will grow as a couple and both of your qualities will rub off on each other. How about you suggest taking on the apartment on a trial basis? This means that you are not tied down into anything permenent. Make it very clear that you want to do everything properly, like paying the appropriate rent. Explain that you appreciate his offer, but you don't feel ready just yet to accept that and you would feel uncomfortable not paying. It's clear to me how much you love him, but you don't need to rush into anything you're not ready for yet. Your relationship is only going to get stronger. Neither of you are going anywhere, so keep the pace where you are both happy. Make sure you keep enough time back to focus on yourself, say one night a week is your night for pampering yourself and chilling with the bunny or seeing your own friends.

Honestly though, I don't think you have anything to worry about. He loves you so much and he will do anything to look after you and make you happy. Take the risk or you could regret it forever

Thanks, girls

If I followed my heart only, I'd be packing already - it all seems so right.

We went for a coffee today and discussed it. I've told him that there's no way I'd be moving in without paying decent rent. He kinda protested, but then he said he understands and that we can agree on that.

Good thing is that one of my great high school friends lives 2 minutes away... We haven't been spending much time together after uni, but we're hanging out more since I've been dating this guy. And she screamed of joy when I've told her the other day I might be moving in her 'hood.

There's even an underground tenants only garage for my four-wheeled toy

Oh, and he wanted to know if he needs to do something to make the place "bunny-proof"

Seems like I'll be moving there rather soon...

Aw, that's awesome! I'm sure you'll be super happy . . . and safe, which is important too. I'm glad you have people watching out for you.

Ahh im so happy for you.

It all sound so very good to me. I say go for it! I'm very happy for you! All the best, to you, my dear.

Tonight I found one "red flag" for the entire arrangement... We were hanging out in that apartment with several friends and he called a local restaurant to deliver some food... He commented something like "You know, here it would be easier for you to stick to regular eating - you don't have to cook, you can even get lettuce with yogurt delivered if you want!"

Of course, there are takeouts throughout the city - that was just my excuse... And now I'll be denied that one... And since he knows restaurant owners personally, I'm sure he can check if I ordered something...

OK, I'll have to find some more excuses...

Tell him you're cooking. Or order the food and throw it away??

Well, I've been thinking... I could use that to establish some healthier eating habits. The plan is to cook on Sundays (boil some shrimps/mussels/fish, dry-fry some chicken breast, boil and slice some eggs, etc) and keep everything in the fridge so I can throw together quick salads - e.g. lettuce, chicken cubes, plain yogurt... I could probably go for some 1000 calories, which would appear like healthy eating and still lose...

I went to a local grocery shop today and asked them for boxes... One of cashiers said "Oh, you are moving?! Please, don't!" It was kinda cute...

I have everything planned... My bf insists that he arranges truck for my stuff etc.

It all feels so right... I can't explain it, but it does... And it's strange for me...

I'm so happy for you. It feels different because you're in an equal relationship now. He loves you and respects you. Ahhh it's so exciting

So, it's done - I'm writing from the new apartment. At this moment, it seems like the best decision I could ever make. Moving went so smooth that I didn't even get back pain I usually do from heavy lifting/carrying. In fact, I only had two tasks during the process: to squeeze in the elevator with all the boxes and bags and "navigate" to the 2nd floor and to go to the local shop and bring cold water for "the boys". It was kinda nice being "a girly girl" for once...

The apartment was meant for me and my bunny. There is enough room for all of my stuff there and a huuuuge terrace connecting all rooms for my bunny to run around. Each morning, my bf wakes me up over the phone, comes over with croissants to fix me a nice morning mocha and helps unpacking (meaning: "Sweetie, please bring me that box with 'crystal' written!" "Coming, love! Is that the one you nearly killed?" "Shut up!" "You're not opening it before you eat this slice of apple!") After spending most of the day together, he goes to his training/workout, and I get to relax at whirlpool (yes, there is one here - and it's perfect!), some friends come over for movies (and to carry out the trash consisting of boxes, huge plastic bags and wrapping paper), and then the two of us take a nice, late night stroll around the neighborhood.

Honestly, I haven't felt this nice, this relaxed and this safe in quite a while. The other day my eyes had gotten red and he ran off to get me some eye drops and cream. Today we took an afternoon walk and he escorted me to my building. I've asked if one local shop works Sundays, so we didn't part at that moment - he insisted that we go there together so he could carry my groceries - although it is some 50 steps away...

After the first night I've spent here, he came over with a big bouquet of flowers. And two more since. If he keeps up, I'll have to go shopping for vases or use ordinary jars...

I still can't believe that I've landed this nice, loving and caring guy... It all seems like a dream - and I'm afraid I'll wake up and end up back in my old life...

Ohh, it sounds amazing. Im so happy that its all worked out for you.

You should realise that you deserve it, you arent going to wake up and end up back in your own life, just live for the moment because he sounds like a great guy who is making you happy.

I'm so happy for you

Oh that sounds lovely! I'm so happy for you!