not sure why...

I have these horrible scars on my one leg, and hundreds of faded ones from over the yars and I hate them. I do all I can to fade them more...and then stupid nights like tonight have me making more and wanting to go deeper and ugh, I disgust myself sometimes. I want to go to another extreame...idk what that even would be.

Just a small rant, sorry.

Aww Sam, im sorry! I guess that when you are in an ok mood, you can look at the scars realistically and think that you dont want them on your body. But then when your in a depressive mood, you just want to cut and cut. When you feel like that, you need to think about what you are going to feel like when you see them again when you are ok in mood. Like, do you want to add to the scars that are already there. I dont even know if that makes sense? haha.

I really hope you dont go to the extreme. xx

I think a lot of people who self harm get scared when their scars fade because it's like we're emotionally hanging on to those feelings and the scar is just a physical representation of those feelings. Does that make sense? If you carry on cutting, you will only feel worse. I've heard that something that helps for a lot of people is instead of cutting, they draw on themselves in red pen. I don't know if that may help you. Please be careful. It's not worth taking the risk of going deeper xxx

I feel like my scars make me not want to do it, its like I see them and think 'don't you ever want to wear something above the knee' when they fade I think, oh the new ones will too.

God I am having a rough time. My brain is twisted. I am being careful. I have cut, but they are not deep or many.

I used to be like that and then I was like 'Oh I'll just cut in one place all the time' now that one place is all over my fucking body. The thing I have found though is I won't cut in parts of my body where I'm tattooed. So, if I get a full body suit then I'll never cut again

i havent self harmed in over 2 years and i have scars that are over 5 years old and i know they will not fade for a long time =[
i miss is alot sometimes but i know its not worth ruining my body and taking that step back.. plus im sure my partner would leave me if i went back to it. hes a great support and even if its just a threat to stop me from doing it it helps because i dont want him to leave.
the craving is so strong sometimes but i try to do other things
even the scars remind me of the feelings but they remind me how far ive come and that i cant do this to myself anymore.
i will never be able to wear bikinis not that im comfortable in them anyway
its something im still learning to live with seeing the scars some fading others not.
please try do something else i used to cut up paper with scissors i know that sounds strange but it was relieving.
if you ever want to rant or try to distract yourself feel free to talk to me xxx