I think I relapsed.

I am new to this website. I came here to seek opinions on what I should do.   

I think I relapsed. I was in a day program for a month. then the Intensive Outpatient. Now I'm in outpatient. I purged 5 times in the last two weeks and thrown away some of my food regularly since I started. I am pretty sure this is considered a relapse. I know this is my eating disorder talking but I just can't seem to bring up the will to care. I have gained a lot of weight and I love the feeling after purging. Im afraid to tell my Mom because I think they will put me back in the day program. I don't know what to do Im so conflicted.