I always come back to it...

Up until two nights ago, I seriously did not purge starting the week before Halloween. I was doing so good. I was kind of happy. I started my new job, me and my mom were getting along. everything was okay. until I get a call on Wednesday night from the financial advisor from my College (who I have been trying to contact since freaking July with no avail until that day!!!). Because I didn't have her help in my financial aid process, I had to go about things on my own as far as college, and I'm not going to get into my parents today, I'll save that for a later date because there is so much bull that they have put me through it's ridiculous! But I said all that to say that my parents are the LEAST HELPFUL PEOPLE I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF KNOWING. So I was up the river without a paddle, a boat and a life jacket when it came to applying for College and actually getting in. I dropped my classes anyway but I got this call from this lady saying that I owe the school well over $6,000. I'm just like in complete shock! I never even went to one class! I never even moved into my dorm because apparently I didn't even have enough money to cover my semester so why do I have to pay this money that never got paid out or used?!

anyway, later that night I am a freaking emotional mess. I binged on seriously everything. It was terrible. I wanted to cut (but i didn't) and I was seriously thinking about killing myself. I was scared and upset and angry. I just ... needed a release. So after I ate, I purged and then weighed myself. Then I binged, purged, weighed myself and then cried myself to sleep.

It was seriously the most terrible night I've had in months. And not to mention today that I had to call out of work because I had no way of getting there and my manager was pissed at me because I called out once like two weeks ago (because I was going to pass out due to my anemia which I still have) and then I was a no call no show on Sunday because I wrote down the wrong date on my schedule. which wasn't my fault.

I just feel like nothing ever goes my way no matter how hard I try. It's like my life is just an endless loop of bad luck or lack of luck period. So pretty much, I'm in debt, I'm probably about to be unemployed again, and I'm back to purging on a daily basis now.

That's awful! No wonder you purged. I think you did really well to stop just there. Why do you owe that money if you never attended? Did you sign a contract? I'm not from the US, but I'm sure there must be some organisation who can advise you on that rather than the woman employed by the college. See if they can reduce the debt and offer you an affordable repayment plan.
As for work, do you usually have a good relationship with your boss? If so, explain to him that you've been under some stress and had some issues going on that you've dealt with now. Then do some sucking up and do something extra to get noticed and prove that you're a good employee.
Shit like this always seems to happen at the same time. Just deal with each issue in turn and take things one day at a time

It was really tough stopping at just purging. Burning have no clue why I still owe all that money to my school and it has to be paid in order for me to go to another school or for me to register for classes at the same school. Its just frustrating. I can't believe I'm in debt like this. Everyone in my family keeps telling me that its only 6,000 but gnats 6,000 I don't have. My parents won't help me make payments on any of that money. But yet I was getting called a failure, stupid, ignorant. Pretty much every name in the book except my own when I told my parents I didn't want to go to school if I had to take loans and stuff out. And I really need this job now that I have to pay this money everything is just terrible and had been for awhile. I swear my life will never get any better.