Failure?

I just binged and purged. First time in over two weeks. Half a litre of ice cream, three packets of Hula Hoops (potato chips for my US friends) and 5 snack size chocolate bars. My husband went to the shop to get some herbs for dinner and I told him I planned to use the time to get a sneaky nap. However when I was seeing him off, I started calculating in my mind how much I could b/p in the time he'd be gone (20 minutes). As soon as he left, I went for it like a crazy woman and cleaned up with 5 minutes to spare. I feel devious, but technically I'm not lying - I'm just not saying anything. God that sounds so bad. Anyway, I know I should feel bad, I know I've failed my healthy eating, but I don't care

Dont be too hard on yourself. Once youre in the binge mindset, nothing is going to get you out of it. I have a kit-kat on the table beside me, and im thinking, nah, i wont eat it. But by the end of the day i will have ate it. Sometimes you have to do it to get it out of your system. Think to yourself, youve had your binge now, you dont need to have anymore. Dont mess up your chance at recovery when youve been doing so well. xx

Thanks xx