I think I'm going to do it

Going back to restricting.

I woke up this morning and it just hit me. I'm sick of trying to eat right and not losing weight, I'm sick of seeing no results, I'm sick of having to suck my stomach in, I'm sick of my flabby thighs and arms. I miss the empty feeling in my stomach, I miss hearing my stomach growling and knowing that means I'm losing weight. I miss the satisfaction of waking up hungry and knowing the number on the scale will be lower. I hate that I'm now having two open notches on my belt instead of one (meaning I'm gaining). I've been trying to recover for weeks but I've only been gaining weight and the disordered thoughts are still there so why not just take it in the other direction now? I honestly cannot keep gaining, I'm overweight to begin with. I haven't looked at the scale in weeks because I'm terrified of the number but I can feel that I'm bigger. I can't deal with this.

I'm not sure how intensely I'm going to be doing this but I think I've made my decision to do it. Sorry guys. :/

I'm in the same place at the moment too. I know you're mind's made up, so please, just be careful xxx

Well, I'm the last person to be lecturing anyone about restricting, but if you're going to, please be as safe as you can about it. Try to get in vitamins/supplements and stay hydrated. Also, remember you need fuel to drive and to work.

It might be too late for this . . . but would you consider trying a different healthy plan? I have friends doing *really* well on Weight Watchers. Honestly, I'm a little envious of all the stuff they're getting to eat while still losing, and the support they have at meetings. God they're just so fucking happy all the time, you know? It's almost annoying.

I'm not going to restrict -too- heavily. Right now my plan is just skipping 1-2 meals a day and cutting back on the amount I'm eating in the meals themselves. And lots of coffee and water. I'm also carbophobic so I don't think I could manage Weight Watchers. Whatever I do eat will be in the ketogenic guidelines. Gah, my disordered mind makes no sense.

Just be careful. Remember if you do sway from your plan, it isn't a bad thing. It doesn't mean you've failed. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself and you'll cope much better that way

I am back to restring myself. Just be careful :-)

Guys please stay safe and be careful xx

I am having urges to restrict my food down again x

Oh dear, it looks like we're all restricting LRT think of all the progress you've made on your recovery. Everyone else be careful. And I'm going to try really hard to eat properly

I know that is what I am trying to keep in mind, I think it's to do with the next part of treatment, dealing with feelings and thoughts and emotions, I was told because I am now not feeling I'll all the time, and thinking logicallly I can engage 100% in the next treatment part.

Maybe it's do with that, if I lose weight and feel ill then I won't have to deal with the messy emotions and thoughts which is just silly,

I also keep thinking this,

Your feelings won't kill you, what you do to avoid them can kill you.

Exactly. And they're still there whether you acknowledge them or not. If you accept them then you can try to understand them. You will have the upper hand, not your ED. You will have control over your feelings or at least your interpretation of events and how you deal with the associated emotions

Purged today for the first time since January.

Sigh.

I'm in the same state of mind, but i can not restrict (being a minor sucks -.-) but be careful <3

I'm really trying to get back on track with eating right, especially after my therapist appointment a few days ago, but it's so damn frustrating and feels so pointless sometimes. Preaching to the choir I know. :/

Edited to add, I guess it's good I've stopped binging though. But I'm still overeating and it makes me so disappointed in myself.

Just think, even if you are overeating or even eating 'normally' you are saving calories compared to a binge. Hope that helps