Not sure if I have an eating disorder...

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Not sure if I have an eating disorder... Empty Not sure if I have an eating disorder...

Post by CatieW on Thu Mar 20, 2014 8:37 am

Hi everyone,
I'm new to this forum, and not entirely sure if it's where I should be or not. I'm looking for opinions and advice to what may be an eating disorder, although doesn't fall under any of the exact definitions.
I have always had what I think is an unhealthy relationship with food. When I was a child I was very thin and was constantly teased for it. I ate whatever I wanted and never seemed to gain weight, although I wanted to just to fell normal and stop the teasing. Somewhere around age 25 I gained some weight. I am 5'8" tall and up until that point weighed around 115 pounds as an adult. I believe the highest I got up to was 137, at which point I knew I had to do something before it got out of control. The person that I was involved with at the time didn't help. He constantly told me that I was "perfect" before when I was 115, but at that time was up to 127 and "needed to hit the gym." I was told that I had "disgusting fat rolls" when I at down on the couch. This was the person that was supposed to love me no matter what, but I felt like he was attacking me. I initially got angry, but then proceeded to join the gym and start taking CLA and green tea supplements to lose weight. I counted every calorie, portioned out everything and installed a calorie counter app on my phone to keep track. It was set at 1200 calories per day and I didn't go over. It worked great! I lost a bunch of weight and got back down to 114. I was stronger and had muscles now too. I felt good. People told me I looked good too, which of course only proceeded to re-inforce my way of thinking. I was always (and still am) afraid that I would grow up to be like my sisters and mom; they were all thin when they were younger, but are now overweight and have various health problems because of it. I left the man that I was with and am in a much better relationship now; he supports me and wants me to be healthy, not underweight. I still constantly think about my weight though. I look in the mirror every morning when I get out of the shower and critique my belly. Recently we moved across the country and I wasn't eating well for about a week. Prior to this I wasn't feeling good about myself. I felt fat and bloated, even though I was only at about 129 pounds max. Since not eating right though, I lost weight and now feel better about myself. I want to stay this way. I eat but not tons, and I try to avoid fast food if possible. I admit I often skip meals, but I feel so much better when I have on jeans and when I wake up in the morning. I want to stay this way. I feel like I have always been obsessed in one way or another about my weight, and I honestly don't know if it's a disorder or not. My current weight is about 123 pounds, and if I get on the scale and have lost weight I get happy. I also feel happy if I have been sick, or as was the case when we moved, unable to eat much and consequently lose weight. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Am I just over-thinking things or do I have a problem that I should be dealing with? The trouble is, I honestly don't know if I'll ever feel good about myself if I allow myself to gain weight. And I will not increase the size of my clothes to accomodate it. If I don't fit into my clothes then I will do what I can (if not right away then soon) to rectify it. Please, any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Sometimes I feel like this is all I think about, but when I look up definitions of eating disorders I don't really fit into any categories. Sorry to ramble, I just wanted to give as much detail as possible. Thanks for reading Not sure if I have an eating disorder... Icon_smile

Not sure if I have an eating disorder... Empty

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Join date : 2014-03-20

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Not sure if I have an eating disorder... Empty Re: Not sure if I have an eating disorder...

Post by GeorgeGino on Mon Aug 04, 2014 10:57 am

Ednos is an eating disorder otherwise specified which doesn't fall under the exact criteria for bulimia nervosa or anorexia nervosa, it could be either that or you may be experiencing the warning signs of an eating disorder developing.


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